As many of you will know this is a topic incredibly close to my heart. My battle with eating disorders began in 2013 and still impacts my daily life today. I’ve been recovered from anorexia for over 3 years now, but every day is still a battle, to remember that food is fuel and I am worthy of it.
Like me approximately 1.25 million people in the UK alone suffer from an eating disorder; about 11% of these people are male. Anorexia ruined my life, it took away my friends, hurt my family, caused me to lie, my hair fell out in handfuls, I’d faint upwards of 10 times a day, my fingernails were blue and despite it being summer, I would remain locked in my room with the heating full blast. On the 13th of October 2014 I entered anorexia recovery. Ever since, I’ve remained within a healthy weight range with large fluctuations, so psychically I am recovered and have been for a long time. However, I am a long way off being recovered mentally. Whenever I’m stressed it’s like a default setting, I somehow end up back at food restricting or binging, fighting.
Physically anorexia has left a lasting impact. I fractured my pelvis, this was an insufficiency fractured caused by my weakened bones. This triggered a condition called chronic functional pain syndrome, which leaves me in pain everyday without an organic physical cause. Despite still struggling everyday with my disordered eating and thoughts, I am in a better place. No matter how bad things are, I now realise I HAVE to eat, to live, to laugh and enjoy every single moment of life I can. Food is not my enemy, I am not defined by a number.
If you or someone you know is suffering from an eating disorder I urge you to seek help, as overwhelming and daunting as it may seem, once you make the first step in asking for help, you can begin to not only recover from but understand your eating disorder. I am so pleased to say recovery has been a rough and rocky road, but I’m still here, still fighting, still beating my battle every day. For more wonderful information about eating disorders or to learn more about Eating Disorder Awareness Week please visit the BEAT website.
PS: Thank you if you have read this far, and I would like to apologise for my lack of activity on my blog; However with my current university commitments it is hard to post regularly. I hope you are all doing well,
Love from, Emily x